his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Randomize
