I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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