i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
