how can u be prego again
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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