ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The adults are the big ones right?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
