Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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