I think i sorta joined a cult last night
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
