She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
