**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
