nut hugger
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
