at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
