Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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