happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize