when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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