Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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