dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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