who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
