so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I could have mohawked her pubes.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
