I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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