yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Two words: blizzard sex
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
