I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
