she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
