Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
