just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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