I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
