How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
is that a dick in a sweater?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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