Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize