Don't you send me to vm
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
