Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
