What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
