one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
