Just took my morning after pill in the library
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
