so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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