walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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