It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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