I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
