yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Randomize
