BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
