i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
