i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
