if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
