Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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