i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
