I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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