he wants to bone in the snuggie
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
