Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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