Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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