i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
