the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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