they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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