i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
