Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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