In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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