R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
