If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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