____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
id be glad to
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
