Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize