if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
