They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
