South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
